Friday, 13 July 2007

Flat Rip-Off

Ever had a sausage McMuffin at McDonalds? Since when has a sausage been flat like a burger? Even in the land of brain-dead presidents and the second amendment they wouldn't call this two-dimensional monstrosity a sausage, so what right does that spastic pedophile Ronald McDonald have to go against the grain?

Oh we do like to be beside the seaside ………………..anywhere but in the UK

Reported by Sky news 07:23, Friday July 13, 2007

Hefty Cost Of Holidays Put Brits Off

Holidaymakers may want to take their breaks in Britain but the cost is putting them off.
Instead, Britons find it cheaper to fly abroad.

Prices too steep
Nearly 20% would like to reduce their carbon footprint by taking a break in Britain rather than going abroad but find that UK holidays are too expensive, a survey by insurance company More Than found.

All told, 49% of the 1,973 people polled reckoned holidaying in the UK was too pricey, with 20% believing resorts are not as friendly as those abroad.

A total of 45% were concerned about carbon emissions produced through flying abroad, but 22% of all those surveyed see no alternative to foreign travel unless UK costs come down.

Asked to consider UK locations, 38% said Cornwall was too expensive, while 28% believed Devon was too dear, too.

"Although we are all being encouraged to think green, our research reveals that the cost of holidays in this country is a huge barrier," said “More Than's” Mike Holliday-Williams.

As usual they seem to have missed the real issues

No one outside Islington gives a toss about the carbon footprint when booking a holiday, what they do care about, is the fact you can have a weeks holiday in Egypt for exactly what you will pay for a damp unkempt hovel on the Northhumberland coast for the same period.

You can be 90% certain the weather in the med will be good

You can be 100% certain it will be piss poor in the UK

No one wants to share a rain lashed beach front shack with obese Chav parents on income support, shovelling burger chips and beans down the throats of poorly mannered shaven headed 11 year old Daren’s, and 9 year old Chantelle look-alike Britney’s

So to sum up
The UK resorts are pricey,rundown, and full of fat chavs who spent this years income support savings on a PS3 upgrade and a mini motorbike for the kiddies, but who will be “avin some” in Spayn next year

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

"Religious Unity", an oxymoron!

We at Smugboard believe religion divides and kills more people than it ever saves.

However the latest missive from “The Vatican Inc” is clearly designed to reassure it's customers that their “brand” is still the world’s number 1.

Reported in the Daily Telegraph London 11-7-2007

Christian denominations outside Roman Catholicism are either defective or are not full churches of Jesus Christ, the Vatican has reaffirmed.

A 16-page document released by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which Pope Benedict XVI once headed, described Orthodox churches as true churches, but said they are suffering from a "wound" since they do not recognise the primacy of the Pope.

Whilst we have Churches, Temples, Synagogue’s, Mosques etc we can never have real human understanding and peace.

British Justice? Don’t make us laugh…..

Sky news has just reported “Four men convicted over a botched suicide bomb attack on London have been jailed for life and must serve at least 40 years each”

Yet again the British public are let down by weak leaders and a pathetic self serving judiciary.

Life should in this case, should mean exactly that, they must stay in prison until they come to the end of their pathetic lives NOT just 40 years,

They will still be able to commit further atrocities even at 70 years of age, after all a 70 year old suicide bomber has even less to lose and even more reason to want to get to paradise and all those lovely virgins in a hurry!

Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Islam the religion of peace?

The Islamic cleric Ayman al Zawahiri (who is also Al Qaeda's second-in-command) has made a speech threatening violence upon the UK.
Zawahri's 20-minute speech was entitled Malicious Britain and Its Indian Slaves,
Osama bin Laden's deputy lashed out at Britain for having awarded a knighthood to Rushdie last month, saying it was defying the Islamic world by granting the honour to the author of The Satanic Verses.
The book sparked worldwide anger when it was published and led to Iran declaring a fatwa on the author and encouraging people to kill him on the grounds that he had offended Islam.
Addressing Prime Minister Gordon Brown, the Egyptian-born militant said Britain's strategy in the Middle East "has brought tragedy and defeat upon you, not only in Afghanistan and Iraq but also in the centre of London".
He then says: "And if you did not understand, listen: we are ready to repeat it for you."

Islam the religion of peace….. Yeah Right!!!!!

Oh England how you have failed us……….

We can no doubt look forward to compensation claims from each of the murderers convicted of the 21-7 London Bombings.

No doubt these will be submitted on the basis that, the UK education system has infringed their basic human right to make a protest, by failing to ensure they had a proper grasp of mathematics prior to being allowed to leave school.

We believe the sentencing they will receive will be inline with the UK’s new tough stance on terrorists.

100 hours community service a piece and free legal advice to prepare their appeal against this outrageous miscarriage of justice.

When all else fails…..

Play the “why is god punishing me card” nice work Jade, but it will take a bit more than an act of god to get you back into the hearts of the Sun readers and a miracle of biblical proportions to give you any talent love.

Take our advice
Stop driving without a proper licence

The very worst kind of hypocrite

Alistair Campbell has today told Sky News.
“the death of government scientist David Kelly "was one of the worst moments of my life."
But clearly not quite bad enough, to make the avaricious git quit his highly paid "job" getting Bliar off the hook though was it!

We say "stop trying to be re-admitted to the human race, just because you want us to buy your tawdry book you maggot".