Saturday, 30 June 2007

Where there's muck there's brass

First UK gov Inc went to the food manufacturing industry,telling them all to, “cut out the amount of plastics and packaging used to wrap our foods” "its getting pricey to get rid of" ,and fucking embarrassing for phoney Tone and the boys at European summit meetings, when the Jerrys, brag about how much greener they are than us Brits, "Piss off tone" they said, just remember who keeps your council house dwelling supporters in cheap chips and Turkey twirls.

So they went to the supermarkets, "not whilst we have a hole in our arse's, Tone do you know how much we generate of UK Gov Inc in tax"? you can Fuck off

Shit thought Bliar, what now, I cant handle another ribbing by that smug German bint ???????

I know said fat Gord, lets “invent” a tax on rubbish, "Steady Gord" said Phoney Tone, "the proles already pay for that in their rates", "Fuck Em", said fat Gord

And guess what................ he did

You will soon be paying twice as much for less! Remember this little tale when Labour come knocking for your vote!!!

The shape of things to come (Unfortunatly!)

Please not the time and date of this news bulletin its critical Saturday, 30 June 2007, 19:27 GMT

Three car bombs yesterday! and now an attempted suicide bomb attack in Glasgow at 15.00 today and only now the clueless bint our unelected PM has appointed "home secretary" tells us the following.

The UK's national terrorism threat level has been raised to "critical", Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has said.

Good god love, Stop dithering we all knew that yesterday morning! best you stand down now whilst we have some civilians still alive.

Clearly we are in deep shit if we ever go to war, I would love to see her try to park a car!!!!!!!!

Brought to you by a spineless UK Leadership Misogynist Terror

Coming to a town near you misogynist terror

As al-Qaeda sympathisers were seen as the No1 suspects behind the massacre plot, a security source said: “They would have known the club would be packed with women.

“Western women are viewed as immoral — and legitimate targets. They do not cover themselves up like Muslim women and are seen as decadent.”

What lovely people these cowardly misogynist Islamic fanatics are! and our so called "leaders" do what? they call upon the tacit supporters of these murderers to condemn them (which they do grudgingly about three days later BUT with the proviso its all the fault of UK foreign policy)

I am certainly getting fed up with their murderous antics, but all is not lost.
They and their tacit supporters can be curbed through the ballot box its up to you all to tell the parties that come knocking for your vote (I am NOT advocating the BNP etc)

“Make Islam harder to follow in the UK” mandatory registration and personal documentation of all members of Mosques in the UK would be a good start. If people want an Islamic state let them go and live in one, They wont because they do not get the same freedoms we allow them in the “ decadent” UK these people are the ultimate hypocrites.

Tell our so called leaders we want something done about ISLAM in the UK

Friday, 29 June 2007

Why is the UK crap at tennis?

Here’s why, it’s all down to the “tennis club” system that operates in the UK.

Tennis clubs are not there to promote competition, they are there as a place for “nice middle class” mothers to put their often “horse faced” female offspring on display under the pretence of “sporting “activity.

The ultimate aim is to pass Susan or Claire off onto some equally unprepossessing Nigel or Simon. It's the British class system at its worst.

The tennis establishment have absolutly no intention of allowing those aggressive inner city kids in on the game, sure they would be winners, but how on earth could any club refuse them entry on the traditional “as we don’t know what standard you play at we would have to play you in” grounds?

And after all some of them might be black! worse still they would never know how to behave in polite company,and as for the rules on tennis whites only God forbid!

Sure we dont win very much, but its all about the right people competing NOT the winning.

No its much better to keep things as they are,your safe clapping that nice Tim and his lovely girlfriend, AND you have no worries about HIM turning up at your club and stealing watches in the changing rooms.

Prison Overcrowding ( A New Approach to the problem)

The current Labour government has come up with a novel approach to the problem of prison overcrowding. The answer? Let the prisoners out and hey presto no more over crowding! This is much cheaper than building prisons and it looks great in the statistics.

When challenged on this barmy idea, the new Justice Secretary Jack Straw has defended the move, saying criminals freed early would be "carefully selected" by prison governors.

We were under the impression these self same criminals had originaly been "carefully selected" to reside in our prisons for set period of time by judges?

It seems to us that we should now be bypassing the courts altogether, and have entry to prisons decided by prison governors, It could be a bit like sitting the entrance exams for Eaton, you do a written paper and then face a board in a verbal examination this will ensure that only the right "TYPE" will be allowed entrance, after all the governors will not want bookings going down due to incompatibility amoungst their "guests" will they!!!!!!

Wednesday, 27 June 2007

Bush on Blair: 'He Was No Poodle'

President Bush has paid tribute to the "very talented" Tony Blair and rejected claims the outgoing Prime Minister was his poodle as "silly ridicule"

We agree G Dubya, phoney Tony can be far more accurately described as a "Remora".

Remora grow up to 30-90 cm long (1-3 feet), and their distinctive first dorsal fin takes the form of a modified oval sucker (how appropriate!) organ with slat-like structures that open and close to create suction and take a firm hold against the skin of larger marine animals

The remora benefits by using the host as transport and protection and also feeds on materials dropped by the host

A bit like the UK dragged along by the USA then we get merely the crumbs off their table when they divide up the valuable construction and oil contracts amongst themselves

Protests rage over petrol rationing in Iran

It seems that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is doing such a good job in managing the economy of Iran angry Iranians have torched petrol stations in protests against the sudden imposition of fuel rationing in one of the world’s most oil rich nations.

And he wants to blow Israel off the face of the earth! we think he will achieve his aims of a nations destruction sooner than he thinks, starting with Iran.

The whole world loves a winner!!!!!!!

Imigration is Good for the UK (if you follow these simple rules)

All Immigrants to the UK should now be made to agree to sign a document agreeing to the following.

1. They agree to serve in HM services or a newly formed Civil Corps for a minimum of two years.

2. They agree that they cannot draw any social benefits including free use of the NHS and authority funded / subsidised housing until they have been paying income tax in the United Kingdom at the appropriate rate for a minimum of two years (four years for those bringing more than one child into the UK, Six years for anyone bringing more than two children to the UK)

3. That they understand that should they undertake any activity deemed to be threat to the security of the United Kingdom during the next 25 years of their residency they will be prosecuted for treason, and either permanently expelled upon completion of their sentence, or their remains sent to their country of origin for burial at their relatives expense.

4. They agree to learn English at their own expense, and should they or members of their family fail to attain a “decent” standard of spoken and written English within three years they will automatically forfeit their right to remain in the UK.

These simple points should not prove to be a problem for any one who genuinely wishes to come to the UK to adopt our way of life, after all what other reason would anyone have for coming here?

Airport Security

Airport security in the UK is currently a complete waste of time, there is evidence that terrorists can walk onto planes with explosives without challenge, we are unable to reveal our sources but it is unfortunatly true!

Like we always say pay peanuts and get monkeys, the only people with any faith in this charade are 1. The terrorists and 2.The security companies, who are making nice fat profits, enjoy your flight!!!!

Secular Education

We feel that France has taken the correct stance on all things religious in their education system, they have banned ALL outward signs of religious worship, the Turban The cross, the Star of David and the Hijab, Nijab and Hiab have all found their rightful place, IN THE HOME if only our leaders were not so scared of the shrieking religious zealots so prevalent in the UK, we might also take a mighty step towards tolerance.


As this phrase seems to have made its way into common usage by our youth, We feel it needs defining.

"Ohmygod" = My role models are airhead minor celebrities, therefore disregard anything I utter after "Ohmygod" as I am a moron

Gorden Brown

An unelected prime minister? I don't think so you interfering scottish wanker.


Do these self-righteous wankers who run their cars on Biodisel really believe they are saving the world, or do they like to just give that impression? Either way, they can fuck off, because palm oil is the main contributor to deforestation in SE Asia, and palm oil is the main source of biofuel.

Phoney Tony wants to be a middle east peace envoy!!!

How thick skinned and arrogant can one wanker get.
We took a survey in the middle east (Iraq) our survey said.......
Fuck Off

George Galloway

Now wonder this revolting racist little lefty cannot see his constituents have two faces, he is too busy behind them kissing their arses

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

Northern Showers

A new concept for most of them perhaps?


How can an MP Quentin Davies being a prime example swap horses mid course?
These people would have us belive, they want to govern us using their strong heart felt pricipals as justification of their right to do so.
He must have known what the tories were all about when he joined!