Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Can Africans get anymore stupid?

We all know Africans are

1. Incredibly Stupid

2. Obsessed with their cocks,

3. 100% untrustworthy

However the following article really shows why we should stop sending aid to Africa, people this stupid, do NOT deserve OUR hard earned tax pounds!

Congo police arrest penis snatchers

Last Updated: 6:56am BST 23/04/2008

Police in Congo have arrested suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s private parts.

There has been a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of the bizarre theft began circulating last week in the capital Kinshasa. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings, who were blamed for the devastating curse.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear.

But some residents said the “victims” were simply trying to extort cash by promising a cure, proved by the reappearance of their genitals.

“You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We’ve had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten,” said Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, Kinshasa’s police chief.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis-snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs.

“I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke,” Mr Oleko said. “But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from the nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

“It’s real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny,” said 29-year-old Alain Kalala.

Monday, 21 April 2008

Gordon Brown to consult Shakira on thrid world policy!!!!!

As if allowing a complete moron like Alistair Darling to make fiscal policy, was not evidence enough of his total lack of judgement and ability to understand an issue.

Gormless Gordon the haggis is now to consult a scantily clad Brazilian bint on how best to spend the UK tax payers money on educating "the third world"!!!!

If it wasn't true it would be funny

Banking System Gets £50bn Cash Boost courtesy of the UK tax payer!

Circus Labours chief clown Alistair Darling the most incompetent chancellor in living memory has come up with yet another work of complete madness.

Having gifted Northern Rock almost unlimited sums of public money he has now ensured that the traditional Labour voter will never secure a mortgage and therefore become Tory voters by doubling their tax rate.

This clown has now gifted the banks £50 Billion of the tax payers cash to allow middle England to carry on enjoying the benefits of a property boom! The entire risk is of this highly unwise course of action is of course borne by the tax payer with all the profit going to the banks any sane person would ask WHY?

The answer is simple this criminal raping of the public purse is being sanctioned in the hope of securing middle England’s vote for the morally bankrupt Labour party at the next election.

Well we say this cretin needs to be stopped from making fiscal decisions that will lead to this nation becoming financially bankrupt as well.

John Prescott "claims" he had bulimia for two years!

It would seem that we at the smugboard were not alone in knowing that two Jags Prescott was a complete waste of skin and natural resources such as oxygen and a complete failure as a politician and loyal husband

The fat bastard Prescott
clearly knew he was a total fuck up as well!

"I'm sure it was to do with stress," he wrote in yesterday's Sunday Times, which is to serialise his memoirs. "I wasn't doing it all the time, and there would be gaps of weeks and months, but during those years when we first got into power, I let things get on top of me and took refuge in stuffing my face."

But the reality of his massive bulk does rather make a lie of his confession to being Bulimic for a two year period! (Perhaps he only likes making others sick?)

So call us old cynics if you like, but Circus Labour need to start coming up with plausible story's now as to why so many of their appointments failed, Why? they will be asking for your vote again soon of course!