Pope The CEO of "The Catholic Church Inc" the worlds number two religious brand, today addressed his US sales force with a strong message."Ya gotta stop fucking the kids, its killing the brand and costing us a fortune" and "we are already way behind those non beliving bastards Muslims in the business of grabbing new converts".
In 2007, six major dioceses, including California and Washington, filed for bankruptcy after paying $615 million to the victims of sexual abuse by Catholic priests.
Pope added "if you gotta fuck someone, go fuck a Muslim or a budist anything but a Catholic kid, we lose a minimum of three members each time you get caught" Mum dad and the kid we cannot afford the loses..
It seems many of the US sales force saw "kiddy fiddling" as a legitimate perk, Pope made his "lets all get back on message" trip to the US at a cost of some $6million all paid for by the various US sales divisions of "The Catholic Church Inc" to stem losses!
He further added "Its a good job those Africans keep sending in "Tribute" they may be starving but they never let us down at the collection plate" Helps make these little trips possible
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